This is England – Welcome to Hotel Kalifornia

Faulty Towers

Hello. You join me currently fighting a massive fire (metaphorically speaking) in Naberezhnye Chelny. The coach driver has taken us to hotel 500 yards away from the one Steve, Lee and I stayed in (and recommended to Greg Clarke) back in the spring. This hotel was originally met with hysterics but after only three hours of being here the boys are very frustrated with the facilities we have been provided with. The boys are sharing rooms with bunks and I am so glad I didn’t call up Crouchy as he would have never got in beyond the reception with how low the ceilings are! There is even a little fella running around trying to appease everyone with a dodgy Spanish accent! I’ve tried (Greg) Clarke about a hundred times on his mobile but it seems to be switched off!

Since my interview with Henry Winter we played Australia in our last pre tournament friendly. The result was a very underwhelming 1-1 draw that saw Jack Wilshere score a top corner screamer from 18 yrds out courtesy of a Reg Vardy miskick from a corner in the middle of the second half. However, that lead was cut short due to some horrendous decision making and two awful mistakes in our own box. First Eric “Danny” Dier tried clearing the ball into space! With the resulting action smacking their bright spark of a forward, Leckie, square in the head. That then rebounded to their most alert player (Gerbach). Who passed it in to our goal from 5 yards out.

I gave the boys a proper roasting after the match exclaiming that if were are to do anything at the World Cup we must play better than that. To be fair all of the lads were in agreement, that they had been off the pace and needed to book their ideas up and sort it out before our opening fixture against Saudi Arabia.